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Archive for December, 2014

So, 2014 is coming to an end. As usual, this year too, the factory known as Bollywood & indi-pop churned out its usual quota of songs. Some hit the mark, some didn’t. Here are my thoughts on some of them. Read at your own risk though. :D. And yes, Parental Guidance needed :p

Disclaimer- This post is meant to be taken in good humour. No offence is meant towards anyone or anything. This is simply for fun.

 

  • A for aao re aao, B for Bhao na Khao, C se chillake gao, D se daro peete jao ( Yaariyan)

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Why the hell were nursery classes sooooo boring in my childhood L  Today’s kids are soo lucky to have such beautiful nursery rhymes like this one from Yaariyan :p  Anyways this is a pretty cool way to store ‘daru’ in a fruit and drink it through a straw like the guys above.

 

  • Baby Doll mein Sone Di ( Ragini MMS 2)

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India may not be the ‘Sone ki Chidiya’ of the world anymore. L  But atleast in Sunny Leone, we have got a ‘Sone Ki Gudiya’. And this is something to be proud of. Jai Hind  😀

 

 

  • Chaar Botal Vodka, kaam mera roz ka, Na mujhko koi roke aur na kisi ne roka ( Ragini MMS 2)

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Teri ko kyu rokega koi bhai?? Tu pi pake tunn bhi ho jaye, toh  bhi kisi ka kya jate hain.. Hamare paas aur bhi kaam hai, vele ni hai bhai teri tarah. L :p

 

  • Main alcoholic hun ( The Shaukeens)

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Given Honey Singh’s penchant for drinks and wines , I am pretty sure that if Amrish Puri was Honey Singh’s father, he would have said something like this-

 

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Jaa YO YO, Jaa Peele apni zindagi..

  • Yehi doobe din mere, yehi hote hai savere, yehi marna aur jeena, yehi mandir aur medina…Teri Galliyan mujhko bhave galliyan teri (Ek Villain)

It is quite clear that this fellow is an out-of-work, unemployed guy, who has nothing more to do in his life than to roam around . But beware girls!! This guy has already reached your streets (galliyan) and it won’t take him long before he reaches your home too.. Somebody  plzz stop this BLOODY STALKER!!

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  • Main tenu samjhawan ki naa tere bina lagda jee, tu ki jane pyar mera, main kara intezar tera (HSKD)

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You are waiting for her ( Main kara intezar tera), no response from her n Babaji ka Thullu for you.  She doesn’t understand your love ( Tu ki jane pyar mera). Another Babaji ka Thullu for you.  Yet u are trying to make her understand (samjhawan)..   Bravo!! Apparently your  IQ seems to be even less than that of Alia, boy !. :p

 

  • Ho sari raat besharmi ki height, ik tu….ik main…aur ho dim-dim ye light (Main Tera Hero)

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Now this song makes few things , which we already suspected to be true, very clear i.e  India is a land of poor lighting, severe powercuts (dim dim light) and poor population control ( besharmi ki height). :p :p

Btw this song would make a wonderful tagline for ummmmm…… Ranvir ‘Rex’ Singh are you listening?? :p

  • Main Grammy le aunga (Isey kehte hain hip hop-YYHS)

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Rahman Saab you are not alone now. YO YO buoy is here to give you some competition!! Last heard that Danny Boyle has signed YO YO for his next  ‘The HIP-HOP Millionaire’, set in the by-lanes of Ludhiana. :p

 

  • Engine ki Seeti mein maro bum dole (Khubsurat)

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Who needs bhangra ,Hip-hop, disco beats, when simply the sound of an engine can make u shake ummm……  I mean dance. Dancing to engine ki seeti has its economic benefits too you see. For those who can’t afford the costly discotheques n clubs, just make a trip to the New Delhi Railway Station. It’s the most happening place in town yr :p :p

 

  • Je mainu yaar na miley tey mar jawan, je mainu pyar na miley tey mar jawan (Kick)

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This girl is a suicidal freak, I tell you. Baat baat pe marne ki dhamki deti hai yaar L

 

  • Sweeta…. Tujhsa ni koi meetha (Kill Dill)

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When, I heard this song for the first time, I was pretty sure that this film was a love story between the children of the owners of ‘Bengali Sweets’ and ‘Aggarwal Sweet Corner’. I mean with all that Sweet-aa and Meethaaa, it seemed soo natural to think this way.  But boy, I was wrong.  It was only later that somebody told me that it was Gulzar saab’s way of telling us that India is the home to highest number of diabetes patients in the world. 😀

 

  • Musafir hun main duur ka, deewana hun main dhoop ka, muje na bhaye…. Na bhaye na bhaye chaanv re ( Manwa Lage-HNY)

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Now, the title ‘Manwa Lage’ is a misnomer. The Song should have been titled ideally ‘Aag Lage’, for that is what was happening precisely throughout the song.  Now this is something that many people noticed. But what many didn’t notice was that, Irshad Kamil saab gave a very scientific explanation for all that fire happening, in the song itself.  You  See, the guy is a big fan of heat ( Deewana hun main dhoop ka) and avoids shade and anything cold at any cost (Muje na bhaye na bhaye na bhaye chaanv re).  And with That horrible India  & Dubai Heat, it’s not a surprise that fires are broke out :p

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Somebody call the Fire Brigade plzzzz

 

  • Suna tere college mein mere gaane ban hai, padhne likhne ka tera na koi plan hai, paas kara dun phone ghuma dun, teri principal bhi baby yo yo ki fan hai ( Blue Eyes-YYHS)

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This is for all those girls who keep on studying like there is no tomorrow and make life for  study-allergic guys like me miserable L Get a life,girls.. Hurry up ..Go and find your ‘Honey’ now and make life easier.Both for urself and for us. 😀

 

  • Bin puchhe mera naam aur pata,Rasmon ko rakh ke pare, Chaar kadam bas chaar kadam, Chal do naa saath mere (x2).Bin kuch kahe, bin kuch sune, Haathon mein haath liye,Chaar kadam bas char kadam, Chal do na saath mere ( Chaarkadam-PK)

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Why is this guy so ‘secretive’ ?? Are you a Raw agent brother?? Or even worse a kidnapper-in-disguise-of-a-lover??.. Highly suspicious, I tell you.

 

  • Chhora chhori fark na samjhe mare sabpe chhalang…..tharki chokro ayo re ( Pk)

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This song is an anthem ,not just for the ‘tharkis’ but for the bisexuals as well ( Chhora chhori fark na smjhe mare sbpe chhalang :p). Now, don’t get me wrong, I am all in support of LGBT community and their causes, in all earnestness. But the thing that makes me wonder is that although Pk has earned a lot of appreciation for tackling many pertinent & sensitive issues in a very entertaining way, why on earth didn’t this song get accolades for bringing such a sensitive issue like bisexuality to the fore??  Maybe many people didn’t notice that. But don’t worry Aamir, Raju, Amitabh verma , Sanju,Vidhu etc.. this song definitely is the fav song of LGBT community. : D

 

  • Nacho sare G phaad ke ( Happy ending)

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Now before you let your imagination fly, let me tell you this –the makers of this song have themselves clarified that ‘G’ stands for Govinda, not for something else  :p .  Now, please don’t ask me what sense Govinda Phaad ke makes. I know it doesn’t make any. But why bother, let all of us dance ‘G-Phaad ke’. :p Okay kuch bina phaade bi nach skte ho re 😀

 

  • Paaji tussi such a pussycat, ullu da patha total spoilt brat (Happy Ending)

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Now, the father was on owl ( Ullu da patha) but the son is a cat (paaji tussi such a pussycat). Now what kind of evolution is this?? Any Darwins out here, who can answer me?? L

 

Wishing you all a very happy new year. Tc.. enjoy..

 

Raunak Joy, 31-12-2014…

 

Disclaimer-All the images have been taken from the internet.  I do not own the copyright for any of these images. All copyright reserved with their rightful owners.

 

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